How a flower card differs from a sympathy card
A funeral card, in the sense most people search for, is the small card that comes with funeral flowers. Florists call it an enclosure card. It’s about the size of a business card, clipped to the arrangement on a plastic pick, and it stays with the flowers at the funeral home or the church.
Two things make it different from a sympathy card. Other guests can read it, since the arrangement stands near the casket or the urn where everyone walks past. And the family uses it later as a record: after the service, the funeral home staff usually collect the cards and give them to the family, who use them to work out who sent what and to write thank-you notes.
So the message should be short, kind and fine for anyone to read, and the signature should leave no doubt about who sent it. Save the longer memories and the offers of help for a sympathy card mailed to the home.
Short notes for any arrangement
These work from almost anyone, whether or not you knew the person well.
- With deepest sympathy.
- In loving memory of Harold.
- Thinking of you all today.
- With love and remembrance.
- Forever in our hearts.
- Remembering her with love.
- Our thoughts are with your family.
- Gone, but never forgotten.
- With sympathy and warm memories.
- Holding your family close today.
- He will be greatly missed.
- In memory of a kind and generous man.
From a family member
The large arrangements are usually from the closest family. The casket spray, which lies on top of the casket, is traditionally from the spouse or the children. Grandchildren, siblings and in-laws often send a standing spray, a wreath or an arrangement near the casket.
Family cards are often written straight to the person who died. That is normal, and other guests read them that way.
- Love you always, Mom. Until we meet again.
- To my husband of 52 years. I’ll love you forever. Ruth
- Dad, thank you for everything. Your loving children, Paul, Anne and Michael
- For Grandpa Walt. Thank you for every fishing trip. Your grandchildren
- Rest easy, big brother. Love, Teresa and family
- To Nana, who taught us to bake and to never leave anyone out. All our love
- Forever our sister and our friend. Love, Joyce, Ellen and Bea
- Mama, you are with us always. Your son Javier, Lucia and the children
- With love from your nieces and nephews, the Haddad family
- We’ll keep your garden growing. Love, your daughters
If several relatives share one arrangement, list everyone or use a group name such as “Your grandchildren” or “The Okafor family”, so nobody is left off by accident.
From a friend
A friend’s card can be a little warmer and more personal, but keep it to something you’d be comfortable having anyone read.
- To my oldest friend. I’ll miss our Saturday walks. Love, Carol
- With love and so many happy memories. Diane and Phil Stewart
- Thinking of you, Maria, and remembering your mom with love. Jess
- Fifty years of friendship, and I’d do every one again. Rest well, Bob. Ed
- In memory of a wonderful neighbor and friend. With love, the Parks
- We’ll miss his laugh at every barbecue. With love, Tom and Sheila Reyes
- From your friends at the Thursday book club, with love
- Remembering June, who always saved us a seat. The garden club
From a coworker or a company
Workplace cards should be simple and respectful. Sign with the team or company name so the family knows where the flowers came from, and add a contact name if the family may not know the company.
- With deepest sympathy from the staff of Riverside Dental.
- In memory of Linda. She was a joy to work with. From all of us in accounting.
- With sincere condolences from your colleagues at Midwest Freight.
- Thinking of you and your family. Your friends on the night shift at St. Mary’s.
- In loving memory of a valued colleague and friend. The partners and staff of Greene and Patel Law.
- With sympathy from Coach Dave and the Westside Youth Soccer families.
- Our thoughts are with you, Sarah. The whole team at Harbor Credit Union.
- With respect and sympathy from the board and members of the Elm Street Rotary Club.
When a company sends flowers for an employee’s relative (a parent, a spouse), write to the employee by name: “Thinking of you, Kevin. From everyone at Northland Insurance.” When the employee has died, write about them, as in the Linda example above.
From a neighbor
- With sympathy from your neighbors on Maple Court.
- We’ll miss seeing him in the garden every morning. The Nguyens, next door
- In memory of a wonderful neighbor. With love, Jim and Kathy Morales
- Thinking of you all. Your friends across the street, the Abernathys
- She made our street feel like home. With love from the Lakeview Drive neighbors
For a child or a baby
Use the child’s name. Keep the wording gentle and simple, and leave out anything that tries to explain the loss.
- In loving memory of Lily. Forever loved.
- Sweet Noah, you will always be in our hearts.
- Holding you close, little one. With love, Grandma and Grandpa
- For Ava, with all our love. Aunt Rosa and Uncle Dan
- Remembering Mateo with love. Your friends at Little Oaks Preschool
- With love for Sophie, and for all of you.
- Thinking of you, Jen and Marcus, and remembering your beautiful boy.
Religious notes
Use these when you know the family shares the faith. For a short verse to add, see short verses for memorial cards.
- Rest in peace. You are in our prayers.
- May God hold you in his care.
- Gone home to be with the Lord. With love and prayers
- With prayers for comfort and peace.
- “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1
- Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord.
- May his memory be a blessing.
- May Allah grant him Jannah. With prayers from the Rahman family
- Om Shanti. With love and prayers.
- Until we meet again in heaven.
Non-religious notes
These suit any family, and any service where you aren’t sure of the family’s beliefs.
- With love and remembrance.
- Remembering a life well lived.
- Celebrating Bill, and every trail he walked.
- Your kindness touched so many lives.
- Thank you for the laughter and the stories.
- Forever loved, always remembered.
- With fond memories of a dear friend.
- In memory of a wonderful mother and friend.
How to sign the card
The signature matters more than the message, because it’s what the family uses to thank you. A few habits help.
- Use first and last names: “Dana and Mark Lee”, not “Dana and Mark”.
- For a household, use the family name: “The Garcia family” or “Luis, Ana, Sofia and Mateo Garcia”.
- For a group, name the group: “Your friends from the Tuesday bowling league”.
- For a company, write “From the staff of”, “From your colleagues at” or “The team at”, then the company name.
- If several people share one arrangement, list every name on the card, or attach a short list to the order.
- If the family may not know you, add how: “Ray Silva, from your dad’s VFW post”.
- Closing words before the name are optional: “With love”, “With sympathy”, “With deepest sympathy”, “Fondly”.
What the florist needs
Florists who deliver funeral flowers handle these orders every day and will ask for most of this, but having it ready saves a phone call.
- The full name of the person who died
- The name and address of the funeral home, church or venue
- The date and time of the service, and whether the flowers should arrive for a visitation the evening before
- The type of arrangement: casket spray, standing spray, wreath, basket, or a plant for the home
- Your message for the card, written exactly as you want it, with spelling of every name
- How you want it signed
- A phone number in case the florist needs to check anything
Order a day ahead if you can, so the flowers arrive before the visitation or the service. Some funeral homes take deliveries only during certain hours, and the florist will know them. If the obituary says “in lieu of flowers”, the family has asked for donations instead. You can still send a plant to the home later, or give to the charity named.
Flowers sent to the home
Flowers or a plant sent to the family’s home, in the days or weeks after the service, come with a card that only the family will read. You can write a little more here: a short memory or a line about the weeks ahead.
- Thinking of you as the house gets quieter. We love you. Jen and Chris
- A little color for your kitchen table. We’re thinking of you and of Frank.
- This peace lily is for you, from all of us at Riverside Dental. Take all the time you need.
- I planted the same roses in my yard so I’ll think of your mom every summer. Love, Barb
For a full message mailed to the family, see what to write in a sympathy card. If you’re the family and need to thank people for the flowers they sent, see funeral thank you card messages.
Short quotes for memorial cards
Questions people ask
What do you write on a funeral flower card if you didn't know the person?
Write to the family you do know: "Thinking of you and your family. With sympathy, Dana and Mark Lee." A short line and a clear name are all the card needs.
Who is the funeral flower card addressed to?
Cards on a casket spray or a family arrangement are often written to the person who died, such as "Love you always, Mom." Cards from friends, coworkers and companies are usually written to the family, or have no greeting at all.
Should I include my last name on a funeral flower card?
Yes. The family may receive dozens of arrangements and will use the cards to write thank-you notes. A first and last name, or a family name, makes that much easier.
How long should a funeral flower card message be?
One or two short lines plus your name. Florist cards are about the size of a business card, and the family reads many of them at once.
Can I send flowers to the family's home instead of the funeral?
Yes. A plant or a small arrangement sent to the home in the days or weeks after the service is often welcome, especially after the funeral flowers have faded. The card can be a little more personal than one at the service.